Arthur and his father
They rode from south to north
The length and breadth of England
To reach the Firth of Forth
Then they raced each other northwards
For all that they were worth
And father reached Midlothian
As Arthur stopped in Perth
**************************
Pink Elephants
Don’t think about Pink Elephants,
Don’t think about them now.
Think of anything at all,
Anywhere or how.
Think up or down
Or near or far
Across the continents,
But don’t, and I mean don’t,
Think about Pink Elephants.
**************************
I thought a thought.
But the thought I thought wasn’t the thought
I thought I thought.
**************************
There those thousand thinkers were thinking
where did those other three thieves go through.
**************************
Thirty-three thousand people think that Thursday is their thirtieth birthday.
*******************
She sells sea-shells on the sea shore;
The shells that she sells are sea-shells, I’m sure.
So if she sells sea-shells on the sea-shore,
I’m sure that the shells are sea-shore shells.
*******************
Yellow butter, purple jelly, red jam, black bread.
Spread it thick, say it quick!
Yellow butter, purple jelly, red jam, black bread.
Spread it thicker, say it quicker!
Yellow butter, purple jelly, red jam, black bread.
Don’t eat with your mouth full!
**************************
Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers.
A peck of pickled peppers Peter Piper picked.
If Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers,
Where’s the peck of pickled peppers Peter Piper picked?
**************************
Betty Botter had some butter,
„But,“ she said, „this butter’s bitter.
If I bake this bitter butter,
it would make my batter bitter.
But a bit of better butter–
that would make my batter better.“
So she bought a bit of butter,
better than her bitter butter,
and she baked it in her batter,
and the batter was not bitter.
So ‚twas better Betty Botter
bought a bit of better butter.
*****************************
A flea and a fly flew up in a flue.
Said the flea, „Let us fly!“
Said the fly, „Let us flee!“
So they flew through a flaw in the flue.
***************************
Which wristwatches are Swiss wristwatches?
****************************
You’ve no need to light a night-light
On a light night like tonight,
For a night-light’s light’s a slight light,
And tonight’s a night that’s light.
When a night’s light, like tonight’s light,
It is really not quite right
To light night-lights with their slight lights
On a light night like tonight.
**********************************
If one doctor doctors another doctor, does the doctor
who doctors the doctor doctor the doctor the way the
doctor he is doctoring doctors? Or does he doctor
the doctor the way the doctor who doctors doctors?
**************************
Ned Nott was shot
and Sam Shott was not.
So it is better to be Shott
than Nott.
Some say Nott
was not shot.
But Shott says
he shot Nott.
Either the shot Shott shot at Nott
was not shot,
or
Nott was shot.
If the shot Shott shot shot Nott,
Nott was shot.
But if the shot Shott shot shot Shott,
then Shott was shot,
not Nott.
However,
the shot Shott shot shot not Shott —
but Nott.
**************************
Theophiles Thistle, the successful thistle-sifter,
in sifting a sieve full of un-sifted thistles,
thrust three thousand thistles through the thick of his thumb.
Now…..if Theophiles Thistle, the successful thistle-sifter,
in sifting a sieve full of un-sifted thistles,
thrust three thousand thistles through the thick of his thumb,
see that thou, in sifting a sieve full of un-sifted thistles,
thrust not three thousand thistles through the thick of thy thumb.
***************************
Thank the other three brothers of their father’s mother’s brother’s side.
******************************
They both, though, have thirty-three thick thimbles to thaw.