Arthur and his father

They rode from south to north

The length and breadth of England

To reach the Firth of Forth

Then they raced each other northwards

For all that they were worth

And father reached Midlothian

As Arthur stopped in Perth

 

**************************

Pink Elephants

 

Don’t think about Pink Elephants,

Don’t think about them now.

Think of anything at all,

Anywhere or how.

Think up or down

Or near or far

Across the continents,

But don’t, and I mean don’t,

Think about Pink Elephants.

 

**************************

I thought a thought.

But the thought I thought wasn’t the thought

I thought I thought.

 

**************************

There those thousand thinkers were thinking

where did those other three thieves go through.

 

**************************

 

Thirty-three thousand people think that Thursday is their thirtieth birthday.

*******************

She sells sea-shells on the sea shore;

The shells that she sells are sea-shells, I’m sure.

So if she sells sea-shells on the sea-shore,

I’m sure that the shells are sea-shore shells.

 

*******************

Yellow butter, purple jelly, red jam, black bread.

Spread it thick, say it quick!

Yellow butter, purple jelly, red jam, black bread.

Spread it thicker, say it quicker!

Yellow butter, purple jelly, red jam, black bread.

Don’t eat with your mouth full!

 

**************************

 

Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers.

A peck of pickled peppers Peter Piper picked.

If Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers,

Where’s the peck of pickled peppers Peter Piper picked?

 

**************************

Betty Botter had some butter,

„But,“ she said, „this butter’s bitter.

If I bake this bitter butter,

it would make my batter bitter.

But a bit of better butter–

that would make my batter better.“

 

So she bought a bit of butter,

better than her bitter butter,

and she baked it in her batter,

and the batter was not bitter.

So ‚twas better Betty Botter

bought a bit of better butter.

 

*****************************

 

A flea and a fly flew up in a flue.

Said the flea, „Let us fly!“

Said the fly, „Let us flee!“

So they flew through a flaw in the flue.

 

***************************

 

Which wristwatches are Swiss wristwatches?

 

****************************

 

You’ve no need to light a night-light

On a light night like tonight,

For a night-light’s light’s a slight light,

And tonight’s a night that’s light.

When a night’s light, like tonight’s light,

It is really not quite right

To light night-lights with their slight lights

On a light night like tonight.

**********************************

 

If one doctor doctors another doctor, does the doctor

who doctors the doctor doctor the doctor the way the

doctor he is doctoring doctors? Or does he doctor

the doctor the way the doctor who doctors doctors?

 

 

 **************************

 

 Ned Nott was shot

     and Sam Shott was not.

So it is better to be Shott

     than Nott.

Some say Nott

     was not shot.

But Shott says

     he shot Nott.

Either the shot Shott shot at Nott

     was not shot,

     or

     Nott was shot.

If the shot Shott shot shot Nott,

     Nott was shot.

But if the shot Shott shot shot Shott,

     then Shott was shot,

     not Nott.

However,

     the shot Shott shot shot not Shott —

     but Nott.

 

**************************

 

Theophiles Thistle, the successful thistle-sifter,

in sifting a sieve full of un-sifted thistles,

thrust three thousand thistles through the thick of his thumb.

 

Now…..if Theophiles Thistle, the successful thistle-sifter,

in sifting a sieve full of un-sifted thistles,

thrust three thousand thistles through the thick of his thumb,

see that thou, in sifting a sieve full of un-sifted thistles,

thrust not three thousand thistles through the thick of thy thumb.

 

***************************

 

Thank the other three brothers of their father’s mother’s brother’s side.

 

******************************

 

They both, though, have thirty-three thick thimbles to thaw.